If characters in classic films texted each other, what would they say?
Double Indemnity - Walter and Phyllis
Walter: Hey bebe
Phyllis: Oh. Hi.
Walter: Itll be just you and me tomorrow night bebe
Phyllis: I can’t wait for the fat lard to be dead. Then I’ll finally have peace. And money.
Walter: You’ll finally have me, bebe
Phyllis: Right.
Walter: Oh bebe. I love you so much!
Phyllis: i <3 u 2
Walter: I
Walter: L
Walter: O
Phyllis: I get it.
Walter: V
Walter: E
Phyllis: I’ll throw my phone into the pool. Stop.
Walter: Y
Walter: O
Walter: U
Phyllis: I’m going to kill you.
Walter: hahaha oh bebe you don’t have it in you to do that to me.
Phyllis: …No. I don’t. Lola’s boyfriend is here. ttyl
Walter: :* <3 See you tonight bebe. I’ll be with you strait down the line
The Thin Man – Nick and Nora
Nick Charles: We’re out of gin.
Nora Charles: did u drink it all again?
Nick: That was you last night, remember?
Nora: no…ur typing as if u were intoxicated. u always type better when ur drunk
Nick: You must be sloshed yourself.
Nora: not yet. with a snooty wife of some important person at the astoria
Nick: Astor!
Nora: weve talked about this
Nick: He sniffed out a dead body in the ally next to our apartment. Brilliant mutt. I am now investigating this poor sod’s death.
Nora: hence the gin
Nick: I can’t think without the drink
Nora: keep it up and you wont be a thin man anymore
Nick: Then we’ll have to attend AA
Nora: lmao!
Nick: LMAO!
Gene Kelly and Judy Garland – 1944-1948
Gene Kelly: Can I see you tonight?
Judy Garland: Idk, I have a date with Minnelli.
Gene: I have to see you! My love for you won’t fit in 140 characters.
Judy: I know another place it wants to fit in.
Gene: You dirty angel I LOVE YOU
Judy: I’ll see if I can break our date. I’ll just feign exhaustion again.
Gene: You’re the best actress I know. Oh, my goddess.
Judy: I held up production the morning after we had our last date. Mayer wasn’t too happy.
Gene: You have Vince and Freed around your delicate, talented pinky
…
Judy: The sucker ingested my whole, pitiful story. Where to meet?
Gene: The second L behind the Hollywoodland sign?
Judy: See you soon.
Gene: <3
Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? – George and Martha
Martha: WHERE THE FRACK ARE U?!?!?!?!?
George: Where the frack are you? The grad ceremony started 20 min ago and your father is sternly looking at me.
Martha: thats next week U DUMBASSS
George: Then why are hundreds of people sitting in one room donning a gown and cap?
Martha: becuz youre all idiotic baboons
George: Your typing is so horrible I can’t tell if you’re hammered or not. The same applies to face to face communication.
Martha: FLJFODJFOEFNEOFDFNODSFNOFEOFJDFMK!!!
…
Martha: R those withered daisys there?
George: Honey is either actually 10 months pregnant, inflated with a hysterical pregnancy, or just cruelly obese.
Martha: jab a pin in her belly. 1 in 3 chances she’ll deflate.
George: There’s the sense of humour I married.
