If Maria Von Trapp and Baroness Schraeder Could Text… Part One

This is how Jill (our Musical Monday gal) and I imagined how a texting session between the Baroness Schraeder (the superior woman) and Maria Von Trapp.  We hope you enjoy reading this as much as we had fun creating this blog.  The voice of the Baroness is indicated by italics and Maria’s voice is in bold.  How appropriate.

How do you feel about yachts? A long sleek one for the Mediterranean and a tiny one for your bathtub?

I don’t object to yachts…especially when they’re yar.  (I’m really confused by this. lol!)

You could call it the Wahr Liebe.  Go with the flow baroness.

Oh ho ho! All of my yachts are gold-plated. My current one is dubbed “Midas.”

Are the sails made of silk?

Straight from Asia!

And the not only are the decks trimmed with gold, I bet there’s also a paradise of jam and spice in the hold.

Only my most exclusive friends have access to my treasure of luxuries. Unfortunately, Captain Von Trapp and his new rag doll are not one of them.

Do NOT call me a rag doll. A flibbertigibbet and will-o-the-wisp I can take, but DO NOT call me a rag doll. Go get lost on your U-boat in the Mediterranean.

I’m afraid U-Boats are found in the Atlantic (that’s west of Ireland and south of England). Silly girl. I’m so glad I could buy myself a decent education. How else would an incredibly attractive woman like me survive in this man’s world without marrying for necessity?
Tell the ol’ Cap the after party will be held on the Midas when he’s through with your little dummy, I mean, puppet show.

You obviously weren’t interested in In Georg enough to read his memoirs or listen to him talk about the U-boats in the Mediterranean during the first world war.

This is a whole different war, dear.

No matter what war we are discussing, Baroness, ALL is fair in love and war. You have lost both.

Meh, I still have my money.

And I’m sure your cold, heartless cash loves your cold, heartless self right back.

Mmm, you bet!

I hope you and your money come and visit our huge lodge in beautiful Vermont. Don’t worry if you can’t make it. We can still get along without you.

Don’t worry, I prefer the culture, history, and beauty of my Europe to the rah-rah campy backwoods of Vermont.

I guess you’re right, Europe is beautiful. We had to go. I guess you wouldn’t realize that if you can’t see past your old Nazi sympathizing ways.

Nazis were so 70 years ago. There was…no way to stop it. I rode the waves and came out on top. That’s how we all survived.

You all survived with the selfish idea that “There’s nothing else as wonderful as I.” It is so much better being part of an ordinary couple facing our problems together with our children by our side. So glad they weren’t sent off to boarding school. I love Georg and the children so much!

Hm, children. Boarding school would have calmed and cultured the little darlings. I was only concerned for their education, and I know their musical talent would have been cultivated and sophisticated more at a school. Thankfully, those seven little problems are not my own. That one boy seemed to show signs of the Oedipus Complex. Do they teach you that at the nunnery? Anyhow, keep an eye on that one.

Oh good grief! The right mother can calm and culture them. They no longer try to play trick on anyone and they are learning more about Austrian, European, and American history through the folk songs that Father Wasner helps us learn. They are also learning to serve the Lord and others with humility and a willingness that cannot be learned in any boarding school. Oedipus Complex….are you talking about Kurt and that kiss on the cheek he gave you or something? Another one of his little pranks. He told me all about it and how awful your perfume is and that your face is quite wrinkled up close.

Well, little boys wouldn’t know what good perfume is. How funny you should believe his uninformed opinion.  There is so much more to culture and history than…silly songs.

TO BE CONTINUED…

A Cinematic Angel: Karolyn Grimes AKA Zuzu Bailey

This Christmas season will be little more jolly this year for The Scarlett Olive and all of its followers.

In December, we will release the interview we conducted with Karolyn Grimes AKA Zuzu Bailey from the beloved Christmas classics It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) and The Bishop’s Wife (1947).  Karolyn graciously recalls some anecdotes from her experiences on the sets of these two films and tells us of some of the personal interactions she had with James Stewart and Cary Grant.

Karolyn Grimes as Debbie with Cary Grant on the set of “The Bishop’s Wife”

Did you know there is a It’s a Wonderful Life festival?  Click here to find out more details. Karolyn lists the goings-on during this weekend festival and also talks about her own museum.

If patience isn’t your virtue, now is the chance to build it up and wait until this wonderful interview is released at Christmastime!

Anna Karenina Adaptations: Same Story, Different Perspectives

With the upcoming adaptation of Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina, I decided to refresh myself with the previous two classic renditions and compare them before watching the new version wearing my best critical hat.

Let’s see how this story was interpreted in 1935.  It stars some of Hollywood’s best talent of the time: Greta Garbo, Freddie Bartholomew, Reginald Owen, and Fredrich March.

For a film being adapted from a book that is supposed to shed light on the unfair treatment of married women who have love affairs, this film starts off with a masculine point of view. It begins with a party attended by soldiers, gypsies, and assumed prostitutes.  Drinking games ensue, and everyone has a grand old time.  One particular man there, Stiva (Reginald Owen), is in the proverbial doghouse for cheating on his wife with the governess.  He’s allowed to run with the dogs while his wife suffers with a heartache at home.  One of his party mates is Vronsky (Fredrich March), the man who would lead his sister, Anna (Greta Garbo), to social disgrace and death.

Those who have watched the film know how the rest of the plot follows, but I noticed a big difference in Vronsky and Anna’s separation compared to the 1948 adaptation.  It is war, not Princess Sorokina, that takes Vronsky away from Anna.  The masculine sense of honour and duty drives him back to the military position he so impulsively quit.  He is leaving her to serve his country.  This is the film’s way of veiling the fact that Vronsky used Anna and is now abandoning her to a society that will no longer accept her.

The ending of the film caught me by surprise.  I admit that I have never read the novel, but I  have seen the 1948 adaptation many times.  This 1935 film did not finish where I thought it would.  There is another scene tacked on at the end to make Vronsky look like an all-round, decent, guy (you can’t fool us, Hollywood!).  Upon hearing about the death of his disadvantaged lover, he talks about his “guilt” of leaving her after an argument.  His guilt is supposed to make him look like a noble man!

The 1935 film tends to victimise Anna – presenting her as a woman who was seduced into this relationship and does not possess any agency of her own.  We must also remember when this film was made – a year after the Production Code was enforced.  Writers and directors were more or less forced to become stricter with strong female leads. From this angle in film history, Anna could not freely give in to affairs and must be punished for her wayward behaviour.  This differs from Vivien Leigh’s 1948 rendition.  Leigh’s Anna chooses to enter into the affair more-so than Garbo’s Anna who was pressured and pushed into it.  Being a pushover does not become Garbo.

The 1948 interpretation of Tolstoy’s masterwork is definitely the more poetic, feminine version.  Even though I have never read the novel, this film feels like a closer adaptation to the novel because direct quotes bookend the film.

The feminine perspective is present through the internal voice-over of Anna’s thoughts near the end of the film.  Not only that, but Vivien Leigh’s Anna knew what she was getting herself into.  At the ball where Anna and Vronsky make eyes at each other, there is a great difference in how Garbo’s and Leigh’s Annas behave.  Garbo’s Anna repeatedly declines Vronsky’s requests to dance while Leigh’s Anna willingly monopolizes him for the entire night.  That doesn’t sound like the seduced victim of 1935.  Again, at the races when Anna is watching Vronsky through her binoculars, she is constantly licking and biting her lips.  She is into him just as much as he is into her.

Thanks to www.vivandlarry.com for the picture.

Because of the equal consent on both sides of the 1948 affair, the romance and chemistry between Vivien Leigh and Kieron Moore is more believable than Garbo and Fredrich March.  While Garbo and March’s characters quickly complain about being watched by their society chums, Leigh and Moore’s characters are too busy producing a lovechild.

The 1948 film is not afraid to present Vronsky as he truly is: a coward.  He is boyish, as he should be to the older Anna, and has a weaker will.  When Anna returns to her husband after giving birth to their stillborn lovechild, he gains her attention back by attempting suicide.  By this time in the twentieth century, people may not have believed the added ending in the 1935 film and seen Vronsky for who he is.  There is no point in building up his character because there is nothing to admire about him.

One must still feel pity for both Garbo’s and Leigh’s portrayal of Anna.  She is a woman bound in a marriage that is defined by “duty” and “obligation” rather than love.  Whether Vronsky is presented as a decent guy or a cowardly scoundral, his treatment of Anna is unforgivable (you can almost hear Blanche Dubois say, “deliberate cruelty is unforgivable!”).  No matter how filmmakers of the past or present interpret Vronksy’s intentions and character, and despite how much consent Anna Karenina gives, she will always suffer from her society’s unfair treatment between men an women in extramarital affairs.

Why is Vivien Leigh Always in Her Underwear?

I was pondering over Vivien Leigh’s films a while ago and I realized a startling similarity across most of her major films: she is shown in her underwear…a lot.  She’s only the most beautiful woman to ever live (no bias here), so it’s no wonder filmmakers wanted to cash in on her allure.  She was never the type of woman to let it “all hang out” in order to gain the limelight, but she certainly was a trooper for doing what the script required to give her viewers the visual splendor the movies are revered for.

Also, keep in mind that Vivien was in a lot of period films, and underwear differed a lot more then than it does now!  Undergarments have even changed immensely since the 1940s and 1950s.  Who knew underwear had such a fascinating history?

Still skeptical?  Here are a few examples from Vivien’s more popular films.

Gone with the Wind (1939)
Thanks to frivolouswhim.tumblr.com for this awesome screenshot.

Waterloo Bridge (1940)

On the set of Lady Hamilton (1941)

Anna Karenina (1948)

A Streetcar Named Desire (1951)

The Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone (1961)

…This is simply an observation I thought I would share.

**Disclaimer: This blog means no disrespect to Vivien Leigh, her films, or her legacy.

Classic Film Texts

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If characters in classic films texted each other, what would they say?

Double Indemnity - Walter and Phyllis

Walter: Hey bebe

Phyllis: Oh.  Hi.

Walter: Itll be just you and me tomorrow night bebe

Phyllis: I can’t wait for the fat lard to be dead. Then I’ll finally have peace. And money.

Walter: You’ll finally have me, bebe

Phyllis: Right.

Walter: Oh bebe.  I love you so much!

Phyllis: i <3 u 2

Walter: I

Walter: L

Walter: O

Phyllis: I get it.

Walter: V

Walter: E

Phyllis: I’ll throw my phone into the pool.  Stop.

Walter: Y

Walter: O

Walter: U

Phyllis: I’m going to kill you.

Walter: hahaha oh bebe you don’t have it in you to do that to me.

Phyllis: …No.  I don’t.  Lola’s boyfriend is here.  ttyl

Walter: :* <3 See you tonight bebe.  I’ll be with you strait down the line

The Thin Man – Nick and Nora

Nick Charles: We’re out of gin.

Nora Charles: did  u drink it all again?

Nick: That was you last night, remember?

Nora: no…ur typing as if u were intoxicated. u always type better when ur drunk

Nick: You must be sloshed yourself.

Nora: not yet. with a snooty wife of some important person at the astoria

Nick: Astor!

Nora: weve talked about this

Nick: He sniffed out a dead body in the ally next to our apartment.  Brilliant mutt.  I am now investigating this poor sod’s death.

Nora: hence the gin

Nick: I can’t think without the drink

Nora: keep it up and you wont be a thin man anymore

Nick: Then we’ll have to attend AA

Nora: lmao!

Nick: LMAO!

Gene Kelly and Judy Garland – 1944-1948

Gene Kelly: Can I see you tonight?

Judy Garland: Idk, I have a date with Minnelli.

Gene: I have to see you!  My love for you won’t fit in 140 characters.

Judy: I know another place it wants to fit in.

Gene: You dirty angel I LOVE YOU

Judy: I’ll see if I can break our date.  I’ll just feign exhaustion again.

Gene: You’re the best actress I know.  Oh, my goddess.

Judy: I held up production the morning after we had our last date.  Mayer wasn’t too happy.

Gene: You have Vince and Freed around your delicate, talented pinky

Judy: The sucker ingested my whole, pitiful story.  Where to meet?

Gene: The second L behind the Hollywoodland sign?

Judy: See you soon.

Gene: <3

Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? – George and Martha

Martha: WHERE THE FRACK ARE U?!?!?!?!?

George: Where the frack are you?  The grad ceremony started 20 min ago and your father is sternly looking at me.

Martha: thats next week U DUMBASSS

George: Then why are hundreds of people sitting in one room donning a gown and cap?

Martha: becuz youre all idiotic baboons

George: Your typing is so horrible I can’t tell if you’re hammered or not.  The same applies to face to face communication.

Martha: FLJFODJFOEFNEOFDFNODSFNOFEOFJDFMK!!!

Martha: R those withered daisys there?

George: Honey is either actually 10 months pregnant, inflated with a hysterical pregnancy, or just cruelly obese.

Martha: jab a pin in her belly.  1 in 3 chances she’ll deflate.

George: There’s the sense of humour I married.